Yep. I’m suffering from pre-race anxiety. Each time I think I am over it, I get a fresh wave of anxiety. For about a week, I couldn’t sleep through the night. I would wake at 2am and be paralyzed by the idea of running 50 miles. 50 miles seems so far. Finally I got past the night time anxiety by thinking about goats instead of the 50 miles. I like goats. They’re cute. Easier to think about that 50 miles.
I’m worried about the cut off time as well. I’m a slow runner so cut off times are crucial for me. Mt. Hood 50 has a cut off at 44.7 miles. Yeah. I know. It’s like ‘C’mon guys! At 44.7? Really? Why not at 30 or even 40 but not so close to the finish. ‘
It feels like I’ve trained for this race for such a long time. I would hate to get pulled at 44.7. I feel like I would let people down. So many people have helped me along the way and if I don’t make the cut off then I effectively let them all down. And myself.
But then if I think about the times my friends DNFed, I felt bad for them. Honestly I didn’t feel like I let them down so why are the tables turned? Honestly they shouldn’t be. My friends and family want me to have a great race and to be happy with my performance.
This article gives some good tips on dealing with pre-race anxiety. The best way I can deal with the anxiety is to remember how much I love to run. Returning to the simple joy of exploring new areas, pushing myself, and hanging out with my friends.