Disappointment

When I was a child, I remember being told things like “you’ll understand when you get older” or “it’ll make sense when you’re a grown up.” For the most part, I do understand and it does make sense. The one thing that still stings and hurts is: disappointment. It still sucks.

As an adult, I try not to get my hopes up. But sometimes you just can’t help it. As much as you try not to, it does happen sometimes. Then you’re left sitting there with that look on your face that says “I’m about to puke” or “Just leave me alone”.

I very recently tried not to get my hopes up about a certain something but it was inevitable. I tried to dampen my enthusiasm by pulling out “The Voice of Self Doubt” (Thank you Wil Wheaton for creating and developing this character so thoroughly in your book “Just a Geek”.) The Voice of Self Doubt carefully outlined all of the reasons this wouldn’t come to fruition by detailing each point in excruciating and painful language. But I didn’t listen. I’m not trying to dramatic (okay I am) or feel sorry for myself (yeah I guess I kinda am). But disappointment sucks.

Disappointment is a feeling that all humans can understand. I neither special or extraordinary in my feelings. Some people don’t get the promotion they want, some people may not get the mate they desire or more seriously get the organ transplant they need. What I’m trying to communicate to myself is that this may just be a bump in the road and there are more important things out there than my little thing. Keep it in perspective.

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