So the title isn’t an oxymoron. It’s true. I went to the post office to mail my momma a package. I went to the counter and asked the postman to please ship the package as slow as possible. I didn’t want to have to take out a loan to pay for the shipping. He smirked and retorted “Why don’t you ship it UPS then?” I laughed. It was funny.
I mentioned that if possible the package could go via pony express. The postman asked if I knew how long the pony express was in operation. I thought surely the efficient pony express system had been in operation for no less than 45 years. Nope. The postman told me it was closer to 18 months. Huh. Who knew? He then asked me what state had the most post offices. At this point my transaction was over. The postman on the other side of him and I both answered in unison “California.” You know. Biggest state. Most post offices. Nope. So I shouted Texas. Nope. The other postman answered Alaska. Even I knew that was wrong.
At this point other customers started answering “Florida” and “Oklahoma”. Finally the entire post office was shouting answers: “Colorado”, “Illinois”, “Utah”, and “New York”. The postman kept shaking his head. Finally he said “Connecticut”. The entire post office went silent. We were all very surprised. I have tried to verify that this is correct but have been unable to. I love that little post office and no, I’m not telling you where its at. It’s rarely busy because no one seems to know where its at. The workers are so nice and its my secret.