So I got the phone call today. Unfortunately I was at work. The representative from Portland State University informed me that no I was not accepted to the MBA program due to my low GMAT score. If I said I was surprised that would be lying.
The first time I took the GMAT, I deserved the low score. I didn’t study enough and pretty much didn’t take it seriously. But the second time, I dedicated time at least five days a week to study. I would either wake up early and study, study at lunch, or at night. I made myself a notebook of math and grammar cheat-sheets. I still remember the formula for the distance between points. While I was taking the GMAT the second time, I felt pretty good about the test. Until I got the preliminary results. Then I felt like crap. After all of that studying, I got the same score. Really? I mean REALLY????
And the money. $500 that I could have used for something else. I could have given myself 500 paper cuts which would have been less painful than all the studying. Or bought a large hammer to smash my head repeatedly…After I got my preliminary score, I tried to fool myself and say that yeah they will accept me. As if pity will gain you acceptance into a graduate degree program. Obviously I have debunked that.
So now I doing the whole internal soul searching thing…what do I want? Why do I want it? How else can I get it?
The thing is I wanted the MBA for personal and professional reasons. Not just to be better than my little brother. Because God knows I will never make the kind of money he does. At least I can be better educated with more student debt. Cause that equals out, right? I thought obtaining an MBA would allow me to be eligible for promotions and obtain a better job.
I love Digital Marketing. There are so many things I want to learn: SEM, PPC, website analytics (beyond Google Analytics). But breaking into a job that would allow me to do this requires experience. How do I gain said experience. Then there are those no-sayers (like Penelope Truck) who poo poo an MBA. So I started looking at taking classes through PSU’s Development Center. Most of the classes I want to take are during the day. You know when I’m working…
So Plan B is slowly being flushed out. I have a few months to decide if I want to try and take the GMAT again, apply to a school that doesn’t require it, or shelve the idea for now.
I’m still waiting for word on my application for grad school at Portland State University. I despise waiting. So I’ve been trying to keep myself occupied with music, running, and reading.
Recently I discovered a deep love for Blues music. Thanks to Pandora, I’ve created a great station and have been exploring all types of music that is classified as Blues. I’ve found that I don’t enjoy Jazz music as much probably due to the brass section. I enjoy guitar and percussion more. I’ve also been listening to The Black Keys and recently Mumford & Sons. Both The Black Keys and Mumford & Sons are coming to Portland in October. I was able to pick up tickets to The Black Keys show. They originally had one show on a Monday night but added a Tuesday show! Mumford & Sons sold out in a day and a half so me and my friend are going to Seattle. A nice early birthday gift!
On the 8th of this month, I attempted to run 20 miles. I only made it 17 due to getting lost, chafe, and basically poor planning. Yesterday I tried the same route out again and made it! I’m running parts of the actual marathon course to get a feel for the terrain. The route goes over the St. John’s bridge which is a huge, old suspension bridge. I am scared of heights. Actually terrified is a better word. But I’ve run across the bridge twice now.
And reading. I’ve been reading a lot. Magazine, blog posts, books, papers. And its been good. Very good. But still I am waiting…
I didn’t know what else to call this post. I mean I all ready do A LOT of self improvement: classes, exercise, and read but I think I need to focus on two areas to make my life better or more meaningful. Ok. I need to back up. I am reading Jen Lancaster’s “My Fair Lazy” where she embarks on a
“Eliza Doolittle-esque project of cultural self-improvement”
I started thinking about my own relationships with people After my friend Amy (for the 4 billionth time) encouraged me to quit wasting energy on ranting about a specific individual who manages to crawl under my skin with ever Tweet and stupid comment on my Facebook page (see I’m all ready getting irritated). I’m not sure why this person irritates me so badly but I have a few theories I am too ashamed to admit. I read an article aptly named “How to Deal with Difficult People”. I have a history of dealing with these people quite poorly. From family members to strangers to coworkers, I am have a difficult time letting issues go. For me there is no letting it go. I will analyze and theorize on why someone said this or did that until I am feeling crazier than Courtney Love. Please understand I don’t get violent or scream at people but sometimes I want to.
So my project is to learn how to deal more effectively with these difficult people and letting it go…..My first stop is the public library. I have all ready found several books that hold the promise of teaching techniques that don’t involve physical violence or verbally assaulting others. I’m on board with techniques all the way.
The second part of my life that I feel I need to work on is harder to put into words. It’s a mishmash of creating the life you want/finding motivation/ time management if that makes any sense. I feel I have a lot going on and need to bring some structure into the chaos. It’s not really chaos but I would feel better if I had a plan of some sorts.
So off I go to the public library in search of knowledge and peace.
Here are a few more photos from the triathlon
Can you see us?
What am I doing again?
Putting on my pack.
One side of the lake